WHERE HAVE YOU AND YOUR BOOBS GONE????????

Jack White
Roseland Ballroom
May 21st

Gone is Meg and her boobs, so are the good, but not that crazy good side project band pals (Raconteurs, Dead Weather, whatever that Rome thing was).  What remains is rock n roll’s savior, Jack White, who’s looking more and more like Robert Smith these days, but still sounding a lot like a junior Robert Plant.  Jack never really needed anybody.  He’s a enuff of a musician to equal the talent of 1,00000,9022002,29 musicians.  It’s true.  Now he’s fully at the center of attention, and anyone who pays attention to whatever Jack White does (which should be everyone), is paying attention to how super duper his first official solo album Blunderbuss is be.  It’s basically a White Stripes album, with less of an edge, but with a fuller sound, and that also describes what one of his current concerts is like.  Somehow we didn’t get the pleasure of his bouncy babes backing band, but his male band did a solid enuff of a supporting job to keep the focus on Jack and his shipmanshow.  The new songs sounded newlicious, and the old ones, like we said, had less of an edge, but had a fuller sound with the help of that backing band.  But the thing about the new ones is be that they already feel like the old ones, which means they epic classic awesomesss!!!  Which means the show was epic classic awesomessss!!!!

Set List - Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground / Missing Pieces / Sixteen Saltines / Hypocritical Kiss / I Cut Like A Buffalo / Trash Tongue Talker / Top Yourself / Two Against One / Black Math / Hello Operator / Weep Themselves to Sleep / You Know That I Know / Blunderbuss / Ball and Biscuit // Freedom at 21 / Steady, As She Goes / Take Me With You When You Go / Catch Hell Blues / Seven Nation Army (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

keep bouncing!!!

we already showed you the hottie hotness in movies 2010, and then picked the breastest movies of the beastest of 2010 (with the late addition of Dogtooth!!), and now it’s time for everything else movies 2010!!! welcome to the…

7thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards

now called

THE THIGHSMANS!!!

The Death to Smoochy
Worstest Pictures
of the Year

Trash Humpers

Valentine’s Day

Enter The Void*

Get Him To The Greek

& Clash of The Titans in ‘3-D’

*also happens to be one of the year’s bestest too!

_

The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Most Overhyped
Most Boring Movie of The Year
That Has Only One Line of Dialog
Repeated 9272767 Times
‘You Seen My Daddy?‘

Winter’s Boring

runner down: True Grit

_

The Bare Un-Necessities/
Coulda Been A Contender

Red

Cop Out

Machete

Shutter Island

The Expendables

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

the reunion of Brian Cox and Paul Dano

_

Trailers Worth Tractoring

Catfish, The Social Network, Enter The Void, TRON Legacy

Somewhere, Let Me In, I’m Still Here, Black Swan,

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World & Inception

and the wurst: Exit Through The Gift Shop

_

Poster Her!
Poster We!
Poster Haste!

& the wurstest ones

+ 18 minus boo-nus pts for the Takers one!!!

_

Credits That Deserve Mad Credits

Enter The Void

_

The 1st Annual
Greta Grrr Wig
Recipient of
The OK, This Joke/Career
Muss Be Stopped
Now Award

Greta Gerwig

_

The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year

Liam Neeson with 7 movies released in 2o10!!

_

Thighopening Call To Action!

thanks to Art of The Steal for forcing us to visit the Barnes Foundation at its real home in Merion, PA before it moves and that experience will never exist again and we’ll be even more super mad pissed than we are now!!

next up is getting laid in
the Blue Valentine future space sex room

_

Bestest Wurstest Lines of The Year

&

_

The KFC
Finger Stickin’ Goodness
Goodie Three Shoes Award

Portman & her fingers in Black Swan

+ these other hotnessies

Shannon Twins’ pole dancing in Somewhere

Anne Hathway’s endless nudity in Sex & Other Drugs [NSFW]

Rachel McAdams’s morning glorious legs & tush

& Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s many colored wigs in Scott Pilg

_

Movie Things That Aren’t Movies
That Moved Us For The 1st Time

Mr Plinkett’s Star Wars Prequels Ass-Riping
But Well Thought Out Reviews!!
+ his love of pizza rolls
which he wants to mail to us!!

lime juice on theater popcorn!!!
(had at the Film Forum)

visiting the cinema treasure that is The Loews Jersey
(what took we so long??????)

& Ebert’s twitterings

_

Bestest Flix We Netted Or Saw In A Theater
Cause Seeing Old Movies In A Theater
Is Better Than Seeing New Movies
In A Theater!!!

_

Always Bet On These Lil
Shirley Temple Black
(& White) Children

Dylan Riley Snyder

Izzy Meikle-Small

Kelly O’Neill

Emma Hinz

Eros Vlahos

Faith Wladyka

& the babies of Babies

_

Face Timeless

Zhao Benshan in Woman, A Gun and A Noodle Shop

_

Saddest Sadness
& The Infinite Sadness

we knew The White Stripes’ days were numbered
as soon as we saw this

_

Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong

Daft Punk’s TRON Legacy score

Beck’s ‘Ramona’ from Scott Pilgs

The Langley Schools Music Project’s
‘Good Vibrations’ from Catfish

Scala & Kolacny Brothers’ cover
of ‘Creep’ from TSN teaser

any Phil Spector produced song in The Agony & Ecstasy

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross ‘In Motion’
from The Social Network

Clint Mansell’s ‘Perfection’ from Black Swan

Mike Zorin’s score to the Inception teaser trailer

anything on the Blue Valentine sdtrk

Nick Urata’s ‘Faking Death’ from Phil Morris [empee3]

Devendra Banhart & Beck’ ‘Life During Wartime’

& LFO’s ‘Freak’ from Enter The Void

_

Unintentional Porn
To Be Wild Titles

44 Inch Chest

The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond

Faster

For Colored Girls

Furry Vengeance

Get Low

Harry Brown

How to Train Your Dragon

The Killer Inside Me

Make-Out with Violence

Rabbit Hole

The Spy Next Door

Trash Humpers

Touching Home

Unstoppable

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

_

Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award

Hendrik von Bültzingslöwen

Wotan Wilke Möhring

Ophelia Lovibond

Sterling Cooper

BooBoo Stewart

Bingo O’Malley

Pleasant Wayne

Dossy Peabody

& Eros Vlahos

_

Miscecallous Things That Either Stepped Up or Stepped Down More Than Step-Up 3D

a VHS tape, duct tape, a hand and
a whole lotta anger in Dogtooth

the way Leo DiCap says ‘Maaaaaaaaaaaaarssshal’
in Stutter Island

the glowing cockscapades at the sex hotel
@ the end of Enter The Void

the mousterpiece dioramas in Din for Schmucks
by the The Chiodo Brothers

finally figuring out what the dealio was with 
Pruitt Taylor Vince‘s eyes was was:
pathologic nystagmus

also, finally looking into what Fletch’s ‘Pup’ n’ Taco was!

Abraham Aronofsky’s resume

photo of the real Get Low guy attending his own funeral
which is 81889283838 times more interesting
than the actual movie

this college recruiting video starring a pre-Doors Morrison

The Fighter sisters > any other sisters

James Frain being a 7th rate Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg???

where they filmed Harry Brown

the only good kind of Plague

when Joan Rivers met Gwar

our collection of the moist flamous kisses EVER

& notmileycyrus.com

_

Movies To Look
For In The ‘011

127 Ray Browers

Goy Story 3:16

Liam Neeson Ices Eastern Europeans

X-Men XII: Boyz II X-Men

Ranch Farts: A Nose Opening Documentary

Stephen King’s The Queen

Madoff Never Sleeps

10 Fast, 10 Furious
_

don’t forget to peep out our
’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Adam Graham Parsons of the Detroit Tigers Newspaper gots me thinkings after I read over his solid ‘Five songs to remember the White Stripes by‘.  I’m (yes, no ‘we’ this time) 900% with you Grahamster on ‘Jolene’ & ‘We’re Going to Be Friends’, but here be some of my choice Stripes’ cuts to remember 9ever:

‘Fell In Love With A Girl’

I came late to the Stripes party, but instantly fell in love with them the very first time I heard this.  wish I came much earlier (pun intended???), cause honestly, I woulda given up all 9 of my testicles to have seen em at the Bowery Ballroom (although the Union Square Park show was quite the shaz!!!)

‘Candy Cane Children’

more raw than the rawest raw thing on earth or Uranus.  it oozes White Stripes white stripedness from head to mistletoe

‘Forever For Her (Over For Me)’

makes you feel like nothing AND everything is possible.  they own ‘Just do it’ more than Nike does!!

‘Seven Nation Army’

dude, SEVENNNNNNNNNNN NATION ARMY, not SIX!!!!! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMM BARUMMPPP BUMMMMP BUMM BUMMMMMMM BUMMMM

‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn’

the best Led Zeppelin III song not on Led Zeppelin III

‘This Protector’

feels like we’re in the room with Jack & Meg as they play it.  still looking for that one song that feels like we’re feeling up Meg White

+ bonus shout out to

‘White Moon’

for making Meg, and me, cry

miss you guys SOOOOOO munch!!!