There Will Be Huh?
26. Sep, 2012 
3 Comments
The Master
No Brains, No Service
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 137 min
I don’t get it, but it sure looked nice! Â Especially those sandcastle boobs!
It didn’t have a point, but Philip Seymour Hoffman did have a mustache that made him look like Mike Holmgren, and he did yell a lot, cause that’s telltale sign that he’s acting all hard and things!!
No really, I have zero minus one idea what the movie was about, but Joaquin Phoenix did tell like 2 fart jokes and kinda acted like he was in a post-WWII version of I’m Still Here (which is a betterer, more thoughtfullerrer movie than The Master is ever be or wants to be.  IS TRUE!)
No seriously, what’s the story with that story?  A helpless drunk gets help from a guy who’s full of himself and has a mustache and screams and his son is Jesse Plemons who sorta looks like him, without a mustache, and without the screaming, and in the end, no matter how much yelling goes-es on, it doesn’t help the helpless guy????  And no milkshakes are drankens??
But man, the movie LOOKED amazing! Â Yeah, but ‘look’ and ‘being’ are two different stuffs. Â Nice try PT Borenum!! Â But you didn’t fool us with your foolish tim-foolery!
Yeah, but there were at least three AMAZINGS scenes.  One involved questions and not closing eyes and then closing eyes with more questions.  Another involved the awesomes Christopher Evan Welch questioning methods which is followed by yellings.  The other other was when all of the sudden there were lots of naked womens in a room, and we saw old droopy boobies that were hactually kinda sexy. IS TRUTHS!
Jessica Lange Gang: so we all know that Alison Lohman looks like a young Jessica Lange, but who knew that there was a gal who looks like Alison Lohman…
Brigitte Hagerman!!!!!!!!!!!!
Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges
The Master bates in limited release
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
