Thighs Wide Shut

Leonard Cohen
Madison Square Garden
December 18th

Oh Leonard.  You did it again.  And it was JUST as amazings as the first time, but now it was the second time.  Your voice was still gravelly, but it was still like silk gravel!!  Most incredible thing about Leonard Cohen?  He’s 78 and gets down on his knees more than a 24 hour hooker who never takes a vacation.  Lenny, you wearing knee pads or did you get robo-knee implants?  Wanna be the running back for the Jets?  Second most incredible thing about Leonard Cohen?  He may be Dustin Hoffman

Jake Busey‘s screen debut was 1978’s Straight Time, opposite his father Gary, a mustached Dustin Hoffman, Harry Dean Stanton, M. Emmet Walsh AND Kathy Bates!!!

here’s what lil Jakey looked like off-screen, without slicked hair, and what we’re guessing, a Snoopy tennis t-shirt

and here’s what Jakey looked like with a hat, around 1975 or thereabouts.  so much adorableness and so much huge teeths!!

Little Fockers
RNing On Empty?
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

We didn’t pay to see this and we’re not getting paid to write this, but Fockers 3 was not awful.  Heck, we kinda sorta maybe really did maybe sorta kinda enjoy it.  Really.  Same thing applied with #2, where the jokes were often thin & flat, but we could not help but smile the whole way thru.  Sure, #3 has nothing new to add to the series (bits are recycled, and you can always see the troubles & foibles brewing 5 minutes before they happen) and story-wise, there’s nowhere really to go (eggcept to the bank to cash dem giant paycheck$$$$$), but we juss really like seeing these actors plays these characters, and interact with one another!!  We do!  Maybe you don’t, and if you don’t, then don’t see this, and you probably won’t.  Reel talk!!!

In the beginning, it seems like the Focker twins (chubby darlings Daisy Tahan & Colin Baiocchi) will be the focus, which would only make sense since this adventure is called Little Fockers, but quicker than you can say ‘Jinxy’, their cares & worries (like getting into some nutty school led by a barely used Laura Dern. Harvey Keitel is in this too and is also barely used too) are thrown under a bus so we can focus on what we all (didn’t) paid to see: Ben Stiller earning the approval, losing the approval, earning it again, losing it again and finally cementing the approval of father-in-law Robert De Niro, while his wife Teri Polo (remember her… nekkid?? NSFW) and mother-in-law Blythe Danner stand on the sidelines smiling & shruging.  Did someone hit the repeat button??  At least they had the decency to let Owen Wilson‘s WASPy Lothario get some more screen love in this go around, and limiting Focker parents Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand‘s overly schlocky Jewishnessness

And how about Jessica Alba, as the drug rep out to steal Stiller’s heart away, at such an inopportune time when his whole family is coming together?  Lets juss say that every time she speaks, acting is set back 10 generations, and women may lose their right to vote, and be sent back to the kitchen.  There needs to be a rise in silent movies so she can become a silent film star!!!!!  FOCK HER!!!!

Fonda Got A Motor In Da Back of Her Honda:

meat Olga Fonda

Verdictgo: somehow, some way, at least to us… Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fockers is edible un-comfort food at a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

wee assumings you don’t use Yahoo! mail or Yahoo! anything these days, but we still do, and sometimes before wees sign in wees see a welcome screen featuring this guy

and there’s juss something about his smile, glassies and giant schnoz that makes us feel all warm and smiley and tingly inside, in an un-gay way, and then makes usses want to give this fake younger Dustin Hoffman guy a hug, in an un-gay way.  who is he and when will he get off of our screens and into our ship of (un-gay way) friends?  WHENNNN???