this is NC in a can

yes we cans. no way he could HATES THESE CANS!!

checked out the State Fair in Raleigh

where the prizes were rather un-a-peel-ing

but the food was fried wide shut to our liking!!!!

WTF is deep fried Kool-Aid????  DON’T DRINK IT!!!!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!

yep, a Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger.  and yep, it was the knees bees of deliciousesnessnessness!!!!

this is a sign that should hang on every tree in the world

and hell, if it had said free fried balls of horseshit, we woulda taken it too!!! EVERYONE LOVES FREE!!!!  GIVE US US US FREE!!!

why do legs of everything taste so bestestest??

although we’re more of a breast man, duhvs!!

wedgies???

who pays for those?  they’re free, and usually unwanted

THAT’S RACIST!!!!!!

AND HILARIOUS!!!

rest easy there buddies

cause one day you’ll make great hamburgers!!!

please dont ask why we took a picture of a cow’s butt

don’t you dare udder a word!!!

safety first wurst!!!

this is enuff to make us never drive or do drugs or have eyes again!!!

Raleigh has a nice lil art museum

cept they have no van Goghs, so in our mind, it’s not a real art museum

then it was off to Charlotte

to waste our time and money watching the Redskins play pee wee football

tried out Price’s Chicken Coop

which wasn’t eggzactly all that it was feathered up to be

skin was nice n crispy, chicken nice n juicy

but it didn’t have any kick to it whatsoever, and all fried chicken muss have a kick to it OR ELSE IT’S AS LAME AS KFC!!!!

only been there twice, but Thomas Street Tavern is easily one of our mos flavorite bars ever

even Slick Willy’s a fan

Joe Pata???

that should read

 

ps – DUKE SUCKS!!!!

another year, another spot of fun

oh, and the non-arcade game stuff was nice and stuff!

and A Ross Kakoji remains our hero amongst men of a certain age

there’s no such thang as ‘too much of a good thing’, herspecially when it comes to Bloomington, Indiana, one of our moist flavorite America Earth cities period! we were juss there this past Februrarary, and for even more zits & tiggles, we decided to go back there this past tweakend, and here’s some pictures we want to share with you, cause Sharon is Karen… whoever they is

you’d be sirprized

ranch sauce was dipped and dranken by the a$$load, but the amount of ranch farts emitted was way down on this trip. that ALMOS makes it an unsuccessful trip. ALMOS!!!

for some reason, Mickey’s beyond fine malt liquor isn’t sold in NYC

cause probably NYC isn’t a place where only white people live [DATS RACIST!!]

this is what bathrooms looked like in the 50s

and apparently still today!!!

lets be serious for a second…

sh#t is f#$ked up

OK, back to not being serious…

and on to being sauceyist for an eternity!!!

this is so confusing

balls on both ends?

we branched out on this trip & even tried a new ‘za joint

Mother Bear’s = mother BESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

this is gotta be some sorta copyright issue

or juss plain copyWRONG!!

kill we now

or someone juss kill Ken Jeong-Ill instead

if only all athletes looked like Rollie Fingers

if only we looked like Rollie Fingers

oh cool! a game where you can win candy!!

or you could juss go to a store and buy candy for $1!!!

gotta love the Hinkle

cept it wasn’t open, so no peek or tinkle inside

so, when are we next goin’ back to Indiana like the J5?

did you know that there’s a giant cavern underneath the Lincoln Memorial, filled with stalactites and stalagmites???????

how do we know this?  somehow, someway, when wees was a kid, we had the über-rare chance to take a tour underneath Abe’s chair, and while our memory has receded over the years (college does that to you), we have never forgotten about that tour.  we even started having crazy flashbacks when watching the fellowship run round in the Mines of Moria!!!  it’s true!!

yo, juss CHECK OUT THIS TOUR FOOTAGE FROM 1988!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! including a close-up of Mutt & Jeff drawings on a wall!!!!!!!!!!!  incredibles!!!!!!!!!!

well, we took a recent look into it and apparently tours do happen, but remain rare, if not next to impossible to take.  we’re sure 9/11 made it even more impossiblerer!!!

somehow these peoples below were able to make it happen back in 2008, so there is hope!!!

here are some other people who remember taking the tour… decades ago

National Park Service’s GeoStory of the Lincoln Memorial

1961 newspaper article about the cavern

help me help you and lets finger out how we can take a tour of the basement of the Alamo Lincoln Memorial!!!  write your congresswoman today!!!!!!!

we came for the würst and we were treated to the best… time in Bavaria’s capital of Munich, which we had last (briefly) visited in May of 1998.  enüff with the backstory and on with the picture story!!!

these people truly know how to live life

and yet, they still have to pay for their ketchup

so würst! but who doesn’t love a good ole sausage fest????

or some way too yellow looking fries/frites? that are hactually purty darn delish

gotta give these people some mad platter-tudes.  ALL THIS WAS ONLY 22 EUROS!!!!!!

had at the Schelling Salon, one of Hitler’s favorite haunts, which he was eventually barred from for not paying his tab!!!  EAT IT HITLER!!! OR, HACTUALLY, DON’T!!!!!  speaking of, F$CK YOU HITLER!!!

Dachau was the very first Nazi concentration camp, and you can visit there, and you should!  we recommend Munich Walk Tours, which is led by an English speaking guide

‘Arbeit macht frei‘ my a$$!!!!

and despite all the evil ugliness that happened there

it’s quite a serene & beautiful place

but Dachau aint the only Jewish death site on our trip.  we also headed out to the 1972 Summer Olympic grounds and village, specifically to the famed 31 Connelystrasse address, where the Israeli Massacre all began

recommended reading: One Day In September

recommend viewing: One Day In September

it’s a crying f$%king shame in many respects that this happened, and it darkens and cheapens a gorgeous Olympic site created by the Germans, which was meant to erase all the nasty memories of the Nazified Berlin Olympics from 1936.  look at how amazing the grounds are!!!

it looks like grass, but them be seats!!

and don’t know how to describe these tent covery thingies

but they are so 70s and SO RAD!!!

here’s where Mark Spitz and his killer mustache ruled the worlds

he totally should have sold bottles of his own spits

but don’t worry folks, we did plenty of non-Jewish things

like eat Schweinshaxe (pork knuckles) at the Haxnbauer!!!

and make instant BFFs with locals (we didn’t tell them we’re Jewish)

like Helmut & Marita!!! they loved we so much, they bought us dinner!  and we loved them so much cause they kinda remind we of our parents, cept 100% more German!!!

and now for the random photo section of this post!

look, this is JUST like in European Vacation…

USA destroyed 88% of the city in WWII.  deeply hit was the Residenz

ever wonder what a tiny part of our finger would look like in an grand banquet hall? WONDER NO MO…

der Nazis cut paintings out of the wall to protect them from the bombs

here’s one of the few remaining Third Reich (take the walking tour!) buildings that still be standing

it was home to the Munich conference where Neville Chamberlain was a big wuss. Hitler’s office was up in there too.  the building is now a theater.  Hitler sucks!

know what don’t suck? Munich’s art museums!

there were many more pictures taken, of buildings and sh%t, but there aint no time or room for that.  instead, read these signs of the times, cause other languages that aren’t ours are ALWAYS funny

it’s sirprizing how unhealthy these people are

and yet they DON’T get fat

ok, this has been fun, but time to say auf wiedersehen

and this…

that’s what HE said