Piece of Britt

The Green Hornet
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Green Hornet, what can go wrong, did go wrong: wrong guy being Green Hornet (Seth Rogen), wrong to use a sophomoronic slacker script (Rogen again, with pal Evan Goldberg), wrong to enlist a surreal director and not have him go surreal (Michel Gondry)… this doesn’t bode well for Aronofsky’s Wolverine II, and wurst of all, juss an all around waste of a Green Hornet movie .  Played for laughs, and filled with none, Green Hornet has no buzz, sting or flight, well, besides anything having to do with Kato (Jay Chou).  He’s awesome, and how could he not be?  No seriously, he’s Kato and he’s mad awesomes and Jay Chou is awesomez as Kato!


Cameron Diaz is in it for some reason, but she’s more of a Charlie’s mangled than an Angel.  And remember that Christoph Waltz guy who stole our hearts and ears and the film Inglourious Basterds?  He delivers a mighty similar shtick here (with much less bitting dialog), but this time with a beard (looking like Carmen Ghia from the real Producers), and after 2 films of Americans seeing him do this, he’s already edging towards one trick pony territory.  Eeesh.  And poor Tom WilkinsonDavid Harbour and Edward James Olmos.  Serious actors brought in for some serious roles, and for about as much seriousness as a Norm McDonald movie.  At least they employed Edward Furlong.  Sounds like he could use the money


oh, and the 3-D is awful


Cole As Ice: Taylor Cole!!

Verdictgo: Only Kato Merit & Zero Stinkin Badges For The Rest

Hornet stungks this Friday at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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