Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, February 26

Everybody William Hurts

The Yellow Handkerchief
Everybody DOES William Hurts, Even William Hurt!
Official Website | Trailer & Mo

What's been sitting on the shelf for 2 full years (for good reason) and now dusted off and flung out on screens most likely cause it co-stars Bella from the Twilight series? Did you guess The Yellow Handkerchief? Well, did you? If yer a fan of Kristen Stewart's awkward teen acting, but would rather have a mustachioed William Hurt and a Dopey Cunningham (Eddie Redmayne, also awkward here, but in a good way) keeping her company, as opposed to shirtless werewolves and powdery vampires, then maybe you won't think this Handkerchief mostly blows, and instead reach for one to blow in to! We didn't shed no tearsz, but we did feel for a hurt Hurt, hurting like hurtful diarrhea cause of the never mellow Maria Bello had done broke his dang heart, but he also broke hers, and their sordid story is 1/3rd of a decent movie, but the rest is Hurt, still with a mustache, telling the two awkward kids this love/hate tale, flashback style, as they drive across a sun-drenched Louisiana in search of more sun-drenched Louisiana, but the other 2/3rds coulda also worked had he ran over them two bawkward kids as soon as he met them and then sold their body parts for mustache wax

Chieftains: what the fruck is a kerchief anyway? and better yet, what the frooge is the handkerchief code????

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinking Badges

Handkerchief hunkerchuffs in NY/LA today and st elsewhere st elsewhen!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed...