Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, November 20

Always Mind The Bullocks?

The Blind Side
A Game of Inches That Cinches!
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

The rags to riches story of Baltimore Raven rookie tackle Michael Oher is so dang compelling that it's purty much impossible to make a lousy movie out of it., it would also be rather dangs easy to make a cheesy wheezy schmaltzy waltzy balltzy sliznantztzty take on his life's twists and turn that one's eyes could end up rolling more than an entire season of PBA action. Director John Lee Hancock's big screen version of Michael Lewis's book about 'Big Mike' straddles that line of Disney-fied gag me with a spoonedness, but regardless of how the play is drawn up, it scores a touchdown, hits a home run, slam dunks and slap shots it's way to some hot goal action!! YEAAAH, GO TEAM!!!! Blind Side is so overly heartwarming that you may experience heartburn by the time you gather your things and leave the theater. Personally, we're a suckers for these types of little engines that coulds tales (Hoosiers being the Citizen Kane of them alls!), and that was quite evident by the tears that ran down our face the first time we saw the trailer, and the ones that ran intermittently while we watched the actual movie

The mos telling thang is that it was the very first Sandra Bullock movie we ever looked forward to seeing, and her super-solid, although lettuce not get crazy and say Oscar-nom worthy work as Michael's sassy southern belle surrogate mother (w/pops played by, hey, I can sorta act Tim McGraw, kid bro Jae Head, and sis by future non-US hottie Lily Collins... see below) had us changing our mind and tune about the actress who usually wastes everyone's times in lame rom-com games with some hunk of the month junk. All of her scenes with gentle giant Quinton Aaron (juss as good here as Oher as whatshername was in Precious, yet we doubt he'll get anywhere close to the heaps of buzz she's beens gotzen, which is kinda effin bullshaz if you asks you) are pure gold, and cause their bond is gold they have a gold bond, so pour a bottle of this gold bond all over your nuts and lets that cooling sensation take over!!!! TOUCHDOWN!!!! Also, any movie where Kathy Bates isn't too annoying and overbearing is a sure sign of goody-gum-dropedness (same rule applies to Kevin Spacey)

Oh, and yeah, hey, Warner Bros, don't think we didn't catch you slipping in that free self-advertisement for Where The Wild Things Are! TEN YARDS FOR ENCROACHMENT!!! But that penalty is offset cause you all gave us some truly inspirational sportsmanlike conduct!!!!

Wants To Be In Too Deep: dooode, Phil Collins can blow us, and you know what, so can her daughter Lily, who has thicker eyebrows than the male cast of Gossip Girl and Jordana Brewster combined! FIRST DOWNSZ!!!!

Verdictgo: easy sheezy, but still Breast In Showzy

Blind opens eyes wide today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed...