Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, December 10

Peter, Paul & Mary,
& Peter Paul Rubens,
& Paul Reubens

The Reader
Read It And Possibly Weep
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

The Reader's not the easiest thing to digest (get it, Reader's Digest? no, we mean are you a subscriber to Reader's Digest? get it? actually you shouldn't since there's plenty of other reading material more worthy of thumbing through whilst yer takin a dump). The Reader delves into the touchy topic of next generation Germans dealing with the guilt associated with the monstrosity that the last generation created, a little thing called the Holocaust, but it doesn't really do the bestest job of conveying that guilt. Lessthenone, the story, based off the '95 Oprah-certified best seller by Bernhard Schlink, is enticing todoings that will at least motivate some activity in yer noggin. Did we mention that we get treated (although some won't agree) to multiple scenes of Kate Winslet showing off her Rubenesque bod? No we didn't, but we did juss then, so we withdraw the question, but we want to reiterate that you shouldn't subscribe Reader's Digest, unless you want to see if yer lame jokes get published and thus make you a $100aire!

Anywho, Winslet's a cold lonely lady who takes up with a young lad (David Kross, and played later in life by Ralph Fiennes). They wash clothes, takes baths, bone, and the boy reads to her (HE'S THE READER!!!!). Why does he read to her and not the other way around? Cause she like to be read to, and probably a distant cousin of Dexter Manley, and since German television probably sucked so bad back then that being read to was all the rage. One day Winslet goes gone baby gone (with a German accent, not an awful Boston one) and the kid is left to wonder was zum Teufel? Years later he's a law student and his class (led by professor Bruno Ganz, who upspringed in Downfall) are czeching out some hot war crime trials. And wouldn't you know it, but one of the guards being prosecuted is that olde lady the boy made whoopee with! OH PEITSCHENKNALL! Will they bone again? No, but other stuff happens from there, including but limited to being read to!

Like we've sprayed before, tis nice to hear and see a different perspective on the Holocaust that is told not by the victims, but the victimizers themselves. We recommend The Boy In The Striped Pajamas more than The Reader (The Reader is miles away butter than director Stephen Daldry's snoozefest The Hours) , but you should probably give em both a look, along with Good, a film starring Viggo Morts to be released/reviewed later this month

We Wanna Weimar Republick Her Face: we only/always have eyes for Alexandra Maria Lara (she plays one of the victims seen in the courtroom scenes) and her yumcredible eyes

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

The Reader opens today in NY, in LA and SF Friday and then elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed...