Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, July 23

Jessie Spano-ing The Globe

Boy A
The Pity of Lost Children
Trailers & Mo

As a young kid, Jack Burridge (a pleasure to meet you Andrew Garfield) did a very bad deed and had to pay his dues in prison. Now he's of an adult age with a new identity and released to a world he knows little about, or at least how to act in it, considering his formative years were spent behind bars. The learning curve for this sweet, yet highly guarded and tortured soul is mighty steep, but with the help of his passionately devoted counselor (cpt o' bestness, Peter Mullan) he's got a job, a place to live, and more importantly, someone to lean on with all these growing pains (sadly, none involving Boner Stabone). Watching him trying to fit in with new mates (drinks and ecstasy don't mix well, especially if you've never done either) and wooing someone to mate with (he tells a girl he just met that he's in love with her) is some of the mos heartbreaking shiz we've seen all year. Eventually he starts to gain some confidence and begins the arduous task of putting his troubled past behind him, but will he truly ever be free of his past? That's a question that's almos as franztastic as the movie itself! Although the title of this film perfectly suits the action within (it's the name given to children criminals as to help conceal their identities), they could have easily retitled it Boy A+

Boy A to Girl A: according to wikipediaaaa, the film/book may have been inspired by the cases of Sakakibara Seito, Mary Bell and the murderers of James Bulger

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Brideshead Revisited
Rite-Styles of the Rich and Infamous
Trailers & Mo

Did we fall asleep watching Atonement [review] and wake-up a year later watching Brideshead Revisited? Sure feels like it, with both high-brow films featuring pre-World War bratty rich kids (chameleon supreme Ben Whishaw and cutie supreme Hayley Atwell) running around some grandiose English countryside estate and falling in love (yes, both the sister AND brother) with a dashing commoner (dependable Matthew Goode), who in turn hits a roadblock when a dismayed member of the family (an underused Emma Thompson) intervenes and casts him off. Atonement's lovers were torn apart by lies and war, Brideshead's by a family's deep devotion to Catholicism butting heads with an atheist. Sounds like Atonement would be the more scrumptious of the two, since religion is about as sexy as the ancient booer, but it turns out that Brideshead is better food for thought, since Atonement was nuttin but pining, so much so that in belonged in a pine forest instead of a theater. Brideshead Revisited is the second adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's book. The first was an 11-part TV mini-series starring Jeremy Irons and this film attempts to cram the same amount of material into 2 sprawling hours. At times it feels a bit choppy and not fully fleshed out, but we'll take a Cliff Notes version over 659 minutes of Jeremy's Iron

Revisited Revised: the film has seen its share of casts come and go, including the likes of Jude Law, Paul Bettany, Jennifer Connely and our boy (in name only) Benedict Cumberbatch flirting with the roles

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Environmentally Sound
Trailers & Mo

The first 30 minutes of Pixar's WALL·E, where our nuts and bolts title hero roams a desolate and deserted Earth, is a bona fide masterpiece. It ventures into a world of gloom and doom not usually seen in cartoons aimed at kids (well, since Dr Seuss' The Lorax), and it's all visually, as well as mentally stunning stuffs. But then our lonely robot trash collecting pal finds love with an iPod girl robot and then himself in a spaceship with obese lazy humans and an eco-friendly tale to spiel, and that's where the film's jets lose a lot of its propulsion. WALL·E goes from brilliant one-man band to background player with a troupe of characters that are not even remotely as interesting as he is. Obviously they have to cute this thing up to keep the kiddies in their seats, but imagine what this coulda been had they left WALL·E alone, with a whole extra hour of wonder and discovery (and him saying his name over and over, which is way cooler than the way his iOuttaTuned girlfriend sez it)? It woulda been something to not only write home about, but phone home too

Jedi Mind Tricks: WALL·E's sound effects and robot voices were created by big audio dynmo Ben Burtt. Burtt was a former Skywalker Ranch-hand, creating the 'voice' of R2-D2, the heavy breathing of Darth Vader, the hum of the lightsaber, and least importantly, the silence of Ebenn Q3 Baobab in Episode I

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Man On Wire
Towers of Power
Trailers & Mo

We live in a post-9/11 world where the Twin Towers are now a symbol of man's frowning achievement. That wasn't always the case, and Man On Wire helps us to remember a time when the buildings inspired only awe, and wasn't partnered with the bombastic word 'shock'. We saw this hamazin' doc about high wire walker Philippe Petit's endless preparation and goosebump-inducing execution of his walk between the towers months ago at the Thighbecca Film Festival, and it's awe has yet to leave our minds. It's finally hitting theaters and this is one death-defying act you gotta see to believe

Run For Cover: peep New Yorker magazine's clever 5th annie verse airy of 9/11 cover featuring Petit

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Boy A opens in NY only today, Brideshead and Man On Wire open on Friday in limited release and WALL·E, hell, you've probably already seen it so we don't need to remind you that it's playing at a theater new Jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...