Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, October 26

Hell & Heller

Before The Devil Knows Your Dead
All In The Family Plot
Trailers & Mo

12 Angry Men, Fail Safe, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon and Network. That is da short list of udderly franztastic Sidney Lumet films. Some feel that the 83 year old filmmaker's latest, Before The Devil Knows Your Dead, deserves a spot right next to em. While I believe it's too early to make such claims as that, I will say that this is easily one of the year's best films. I mean, where else are you going to find Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke and the great great great great great great great Albert Finney giving it their all with a fabulous story to tie it together? And that story, YEAH BABY!!!! Hoffman and Hawke play two brothers strapped for cash who decide to knock off a mom & pop jewelry store... that happens to be their mom and pop's jewelry store! Of course nothing goes right and the rest is pure cinematic magic. Along for the ride are some solid supporters, like Aunt May Parker, that awesome Irish dude, that awesome dude who aint Irish, scary German Guy and Marisa Tomei, who finally gives us some non-body double NSFW love that I'm sure will be A-B repeated JO matz for decades to come (pun intended). What more could one ask for? How about 21381283 mo flicks with Marisa Tomei non-body double NSFW love that I'm sure will be A-B repeated JO matz for decades to come (pun not intended)

IMHO: Sindey's breastest work of dem all? His daughter Jenny and her redonkeydonk bazingies!!!

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show

Don't LeGoSee This
Trailers & Mo

The Italian word 'bella' means 'beautiful', and the Mexican film of the same name attempts the same translation with audiences, but it ends up quite snoozeiful. Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy to the Jenna von Oyth degree! I dunno what rock of crack the people were smoking at the '006 TIFF when they gave it their Choice Award, but it mussa been some purty darn good shiz cause this schmaltz fest aint even worthy of a 4am showing on the Hallmark Movie Channel. The MPAA should change the rating from PG-13 to NC-117 so no one will have to watch this. The only eggception should be for insomniacs lookin for some Rip Van Winkle type zzzzzzzzzs

Dirty Landry: the only thang bella goings on here is hottie Ali Landry, who happens to be the wife of director Alejandro Gomez Monteverde. Can't figure out if that's an upgrade or not from her former hubby, Mario Lopez

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Yer Thighs & Eyes Out Repoopulouzzzz

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...