Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, June 29

Diet McClane

Live Free or Die Hard
Fourth & Long (get it?)
Trailer & Mo!

On the poster for the orig Die Hard, the Nakatomi Plaza was on fire. For it's sequel, Die Harder, it was an airport that was ablaze. And on Vengeance's, it was NYC that was going down in flames. So takin a quick peek at LFoDH's poster, and seeins that there's not much of a conflagration tat all, you knew one way or an udder that this wasn't going to be the usual John McClane (mis)adventure. Hell, without Bruce Willis and the plot unfolding around a holiday, there's not much here to resemble anything that came before. Sew, for those itchin for some Bonnie Bedelia, William Atherton, Reginald VelJohnson or De'voreaux White (that's the dude who played Argyle the limo driver) action, yer better off creating your own Die Hard fan fiction, cause the only thing yer gonna get here is a 24-type cyberterrorism jamboree. And that's not necessarily a bad thang. Despite all the Chloe O'Brianing, there's still plenty of explosions, one-liners, and one-liners that follow explosions to satisfy all the die hard Die Hard fans. And it's this balance of the same old with the new & improved that makes LFoDH work. And since baddie Timothy Olyphant was mo menacing in the Cuthbest klassic, The Girl Next Door, all the newness is kept fresh by the Mac guy, Justin Long. I never thought I would say this, but had they not cast Long as the comic reliefin' computer geek (what a stretch for him, eh?), this film coulda died, hard

Netflux Capacitor: were you wondering where you could see sum more of dat French dude, whose moves are slicker than Jackie Chan's? Den rent, don't run to see B13 [trailer| review]

Will The Real Lucy McClane Please Stand Up?: the only person who probably has an issue with the hiring of hottie McGee Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Bruce's daughter Lucy was Taylor Fry, who played her in the original

RIF (Reading if FUNDamental) On Dis: read John Carlin's '97 article 'A Farewell To Arms', upon which Live Free's story is based!

Twats In A Name: 'Live Free or Die' is the official state motto of New Hampshire. Dem words were created by American Continental Army General John Stark (no, not that Knick grocery bagger)

It's Stiller Time: I love me sum great parodiesez, but flying nun tops the bestness that is The Ben Stiller Show's Die Hard 12: Die Hungry, co-starring the one, the only, Taylor Negron (dood, u have to czech out his scrapbook!

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers•, and not juss cause JLong was in Jeepers Creepers

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...