Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, April 4

Girl Shows

Black Book (Zwartboek)
A Dutch Treat

When it comes to cinematic duos nuttin tops the twosome of graphic violence and gratuitous nudity (aka guns n' titties). And no one has been able to meld the two so fluidly time and time again like the high flying Dutchmen Paul Verhoeven. Before leaving his mark in Hollywood with such blockbuster entertainments as RoboCop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct and the beyond bestness that is Starship Troopers, Verhoeven was creating quite a body of work in his native tongue and land of Holland. Well it seems that after Hollow Man underwhelmed (aka sucked the ass of a nekkid AND invisible Kevin Bacon) back in the '00, V'ho decided to take a break and reevaluate. Seven years later, he's back with a film that embraces his earlier, more personal films with the kiss kiss, bang bang mentality of an American studio's bi-product. The film in question is called Black Book, and to be as direct and cheesy as possible, it's a page turner!

The most expensive and commercially successful Dutch film ever made, Black Book is tale about one Jewish women's quest to stay alive in Nazi-occupied Holland towards the end of the world war with two capital i's. Before you start puttin on yer sleepin mask and Zzzzizzing like Rip and Rob Van Winkle, this isn't your usual JeWWII pity party. It's a riveting thriller packed with plenty o' shootouts, double crosses, and since it's a V'ho joint, nudity! Hell, can you name the last time you saw a chick paint her vagina on screen (not to be confused with West Virgina, snatch!)? And if you do, would you mind emailing me cause I think it's my new mos flavorite genre mt everest!

Unsatisfied with this? DON'T Netflix Little Black Book [trailer] , but DO FLIXNET Verhoeven's similarly themed/Rutger Hauer starrin' Soldaat van Oranje (Soldier of Orange) [trailer]!

de Lint Picker: Derek de Lint is quite the global actor. Besides kickin' it all Dutch like an oven, the dude has also appeared in Three Men & A Baby, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Deep Impact and TV's China Beach

Van HOT Damn!: Carice van Houten can not only act, but she can also paint a 'gina like no other! Here's hoping that the NSFW beauty continues to make men produce Hollandaise sauce for years to cum!

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): although whole-heartedly enjoyable, Black Book ultimately does not belong in the pantheon of great modern WWII flicks so it gets the Jeepers Worth A Peepers•• stamp

Rental Round Up(dog)

Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man

No one in the world has a cooler voice than Canadian-Jew songster Leonard Cohen. Too bad this sometimes documentary/mostly tribute concert film doesn't let his voice be heard all that much. While I'm glad many contemporary artists like U2, the siblings Wainwright, Nick Cave, et al, are all big fans of the LC, but besides Jarvis Cocker's stirring rendition of 'I Can't Forget', this film is purty much forgettable. Tis a shame considering it will probably be the only doc to chronicle the life of the Ladies Man
until next thyme the balcony is clothed...