Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, March 30

Noah's bArk

Noah built an Ark to save his family and the world's dopest animals from the oncoming Great Flood. So I got to wondering who Joakim Noah would build an ark for

considering his family tree consists of super freaky looking humans, animals, and fictional entertainers (sea below). None of these relations can be proven in court or on the basketball court, but this shiz aint no phyla, this shiz is gen(i)us! Roll the ugliness!!

raker of moons

Carter coached
Rick Gonzalez

no Yankee hunter, but any kind o'

the out of sync stylings of
Milli Vanilli
(including the bones of Rob Pilatus)

conclusion jumper
Richard Riehle

man of a thousand OOGly faces
Michael Jackson

Bros Mario geist

Mischa & Falkor Barton

Eagle Eye & Neneh Cherry

hairy half-caf mulatto duo

plague-infested enemy of
Gibson Rickenbacker from Cyborg

rocky roader

the always eating tunafish lips of
Kyra Sedgwick

poorman's Chewbacca
Ookla The Mok

not so young cannibal
Roland Gift

terror dogs
Vinz Clortho & Zuul

the manly men of

world's mos ugly and deceased dog

how could one leave out

the patriarch of all this poopedness

addish-anal repooping by MMM & Mans de Glue