Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Tuesday, December 12

Wii Didn't Start The Fire

And that fire is peoples' mad desire to become gamers again, for the first time, or to continue on being the twelve-sided dice freaks that this for this new busted-arsed century. Seriously folks, aged 9, 69 or 6969, man or bizatch, whitey or blackie, yellowie or Redskin, dirty Jew or dirty dancer, if you're an agronomist, a
boatswain, a comptroller, a dominatrix, an exchequer, a fellmonger, a gondolier, a haberdasher, an innkeeper, a juggler, a kinesiologist, a lady-in-waiting, a manicurist, a ninja, an oboist, a pickler, a quivermaker, a registrar, a sexton, a
taikonaut, an usher, a ventriloquist, a wainwright, a xylophonist, a yodeler, a zoot-suitist or are of any other occupation and have two hands YOU MUSS GO OUT AND BUY A NINTENDO WII (don't let the caps throw yo off, although the 'tendo is gettin into a World War for yer money vs Sony & Microsoft).

After my domination of Tony Hawk 3 on PS2, I had retired from the gaming world, I thought for good, cept for the occasi 8-bit glory of blowing into my ye olde cartridges, but hype and curiosity got the breast of me. And methinks that $250 is a small price to pay for the single greatest toy of balls thyme. Also, I never owned me the Power Glove, and I figured that this would help to make up for that bit o' my lost childhood


it's so much fargin fun that even hot chicks dig it

and even average looking chicks too!

and I'm sure fatty-boom-booms do too since the Wii provides more eggsercise than removing a slice of pizza from a box and shoving it down one's piehole!

Breast part of the whole dang thang, besides the thumcredible interactivity, the people destroying their televisions and themselves (czech out early and often), or the old school skin you can buy, is that you can download old games (NES, SNES, N64, Sega Genesis, and even ye booty arsed TurboGrafx-16) thru their Virtual Console. Not a ton o games are available yet, although I'm totally rockin Sonic the Hedgehog, but every Monday four more get released. No word on if or when Toobin' will be available

So don't delay, blow whomever you have to, but get a Wii so you can wii all over yerself like I have for the past 2 bestestest weeks of my life, besides the first 2 weeks of life and the 2 weeks I totally anally raped your father in Guam