Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Monday, November 20

It's An Odd Job,
But Someone Has To Do It!

First off, we feel so fargin bad about posting a wax figure picture of Michelle Yeoh not including Harold 'Odd Job' Sakata in last week's Bond-fap-a-thon that we want to give the effin badest of the badmen man his due

OK, now that yer pants are around yer kankles, lettuce get to the real reason of our treason...

While it's too darn early to rank the merit badgedness of Chris Cornell's Clams Casino Royale w/Cheese Bond theme, 'You Know My Name' [d], although it does kinda kick philip glass, we've ranked the rest of dem themes from bestest to wurstest. Let the master debate begins!!!

1. 'James Bond' (from Dr. No) - John Barry & Orchestra [d]
it doesn't get more classic than this

2. 'Goldfinger' - Shirley Bassey
Bassey delievers the bestest theme for the bestest Bond flick

3. 'A View To A Kill' - Duran Duran
the video itself is ALMOST better than the entire movie

4. 'The Living Daylights' - A-Ha
also known as the second greatistest A-ha song of balls thyme... then again, can u name another?

5. 'Live And Let Die' - Paul McCartney & Wings
it's so effin good that even the GnR versh stands on its own in amazingness

6. 'We Have All The Time In The World' (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - Louis Armstrong
released 2 years before Satchmo's death, this ditty's title comes from the line spoken by Bond after her hot arsed wife is killed... oddly enuff, according to a BBC poll, it's the 3rd mos popular song performed at a wedding

7. 'You Only Live Twice' - Nancy Sinatra
without this there would be no Robbie Williams' 'Millenium'... take that for what tits worth

8. 'James Bond Theme' (from Tomorrow Never Dies) - Moby [d]
it was on the TND soundtrack, but never made its way into the film's actual score. Effin shame since it's beyond body rockin and is a staple of his live performaces. Peep the vid here

9. 'Nobody Does It Better' (from The Spy Who Loved Me) - Carly Simon
Carly Simon, always better to be heard than to be seen... I wouldnt even let her suck yer dick with her lips!

10. 'For Your Eyes Only' - Sheena Easton
Sheena's currently working on Thighland's nation anthem... can anyone guess what it's called?

11. 'The Man With The Golden Gun' - Lulu
To Sir, I LOVE this one!

12. 'Die Another Day' - Madonna
Elton John hated it, but then again, what the fork does he like besides takin it in the can?

13. 'Licence To Kill' - Gladys Knight
much like Timothy Dalton, Gladys' theme gets not too much respek, and dats a cryin shame

14. 'Goldeneye' - Tina Turner
letting Tina do a Bond theme this late in her game seems like a make-up call for not having done one sooner. Butter late than never, but I vowed to never say never or fap again

15. 'Tomorrow Never Dies' - Sheryl Crow
probably the only Sheryl Crow song to crow about

16. 'Thunderball' - Tom Jones
I guess Shirley Bassey wasn't available, so they went with someone else who is Welsh

17. 'All Time High' (From Octopussy) - Rita Coolidge
almos an all time LOW for Bond themes

18. 'Diamonds Are Forever' - Shirley Bassey
I think the world, by this time, had had enuff with Bassey, but sometimes...

19. 'The World Is Not Enough' - Garbage
like a Nat King & Natalie Cole duet hit, but without the 'un'

20. 'Moonraker' - Shirley Bassey
they shoulda juss re-recorded Goldinger but replaced that word with Moonraker. Hell, even Fletch F Fletch's 2 second rendition of 'Moon River' when Dr M. Emmet Walsh sticks his fist up his a$$ is more catchy

21. 'From Russia With Love' - Matt Monro

and if yer wondering where the rest of the D-lodes can be found, buy the damn Best of, or click me