Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Tuesday, September 26

You Ganda Go See This

The Last King of Scotland
Oscar May Shine On A Different Haggis This Year

There are many a sentences in life that we seldom want to udder, like: Eating poop is my life or Your grandfather gives the best BJs in all of Qatar or even Hey, would you mind microwaving that tunafish before you shove it up my ass with your fist. OK, so those three phrases are commonplace cause they is the first three lines of Thighland's Bill of Rights, but there's one sentence that I don't think anyone has let loose from their loose lips that sink hips: Forest Whitaker is the effin man and he should win 14 Oscars for that performance. If no one has ever said that, then I will gladly be the first to do so. While I've mos certainly enjoyed his career in the 80s and early 90s, appearing in such hotness as Good Morning Vietnam, Platoon, The Crying Game, and Bird, Forest has been sorta a joke for hire ever since the end of his glory days. I means, how could one give any sorta modern props to a guy who appeared in Battlefield Earth AND directed Katie Holmes in the '04 shitastrophe known as The First Daughter? Breast assured kids, cause FW aint a joke no mo! With his tour-de-force (who am I, Peter Forking Travers?) performance as real-life jerk-ass dictator His Excellency President for Life Field Marshal Al Hadji Dr. Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, King of Scotland Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular this Shitaker has been deforested, re-grown and allowed to blossom all over again. And for his Oscar-worthywinning work alone, The Last King of Scotland is the muss see of this autumn.

Scotland may be a bit too much all over the map for tits own good, but dats what you get when you try to fictionalize events of history into a nice lil package. And fictionalizing history shoulda been an absolute breeze for my mos flavorite Scottish documentarian, Kevin MacDonald, who dropped on us Touching The Void and the best evs, One Day In September. Instead of a straight fwd biopic, which may have been a better route to go, MacDonald gives us a condensed bits and pieces outsider view of Amin's iron fisted (what is it with me and fisting today?) reign of Uganda thru the eyes of the made-up personal white boy physician turned political advisor character, played with much gusto by the soon to be richman's Ewan McGregor, James McAvoy (McAvoy already had his breakthrough role in Rory O'Shea Was Here [our review], but alas, no one ever saw it, so for most, this will be the one that he breaks out in). Despite these short shortcomings of Scotland, in short, as the title of this posting commands, you ganda go see this, ok shorty?

Unsatisfied with this? Required Viewing: Barbet Schroeder's gripping General Idi Amin Dada: A Self Portait, available from the good folks at The Criterion Collection

Possible Porno Name: The Vast Dong of Scott Weiland

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show