Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Tuesday, May 16

GNR Lies Truths

Guns N' Roses
Hammerstein Ballroom
May 15th, 2006

In today's world where Queen, INXS, the Cars, and the Doors tour without their centerpiece vocalists, it's quite welcoming to see a band tour with the opposite DNA, aka, its original singer in tact, sans the supporting playas. Don't spank me wrong, I love Slash and Duff McKegs like it was nobody's bidness (it isn't your bidness), but would I ever care to see a Velvet Revolver show juss cause they is members? Like Mr Poon and sugar in the same room, no never, never! And thus, whatever the cosmetics of Guns N Roses is today doesn't make one bit o honey or difference to mes as shlong as Axl W Rose is involved (think our generation's kinda sorta post-Waters Pink Floyd). Last nite, for 2 and 1/2 hiz-ours, I partied like it was 1992, and I rocked more than Iraned and although the faces may have changed, the song effin remained the same. Read: franzforkintastic!!! Bless you AWR (even if you love yerself more than I love myself) and co, who did quite an admirable job filling in the huge empty shoes... although I don't understand why they didn't play 'Don't Cry' [d], which is by far, the bestest GNR song in their arsenal asshole. It's waz almost a bigger let down then when i saw Duran2 for the second time and they din't play 'Hungry Like The Wolf'. But after all's said and Warrick Dunn, last nite's show was probably the best $75 I've spent in a long arsed time, besides that 80s Astros jersey thats soon coming to my door. Here's a rundown of what I got for my two cents (times 3,750):

Lizadies on guy's shoulders: 8+
Hot arsed honey rockin out on the third-level balcony: 1
Songs I thought were called 'Chinese Democracy' cause I didn't know em: 4+
Pointless solos not involving Axl: 5+
Brazilian flags: 1
Hexplosions: 6+
Sebastian Bach duets: 1
References to Izzy Stradlin: 2
Amount of Mythos beers downed before hand: 1
Random run-in with one of the flyest girls I knew in college: 1
Metallica/GNR '92 tour shirts: 2+
Bo Derek cornrow impersonators: 1 (Axl and that dreadful hair that no white person should be allowed to sport)
Exposed boobs: ZIPPO... BOO-URNS!!
Times I was wondering what Miles Papazian was up to: 3814866267