Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, January 27

Report To The
Principles Orifice

Thursday 9-10pm EST, the reason why dual tuner DVRs and TiVos were invented, hispecially for that key demographic of 23-33 aging hipsters who probably watch boths The Office, My Name Is, and The OCk!!! Will the hotness ever turn notness? Doubt it, herpecially with plenty of jail bait shop Skeet matz via Willa, and guest spots from the White Shadow as Michael Scott's former boss, and the coach from The Wonder Years and dr from China Beach (same person) who did some dirty bidness with Sandy Cohen and his shitty LA Lender's bagels.

In our ear en revue of Moovies '05, I neglected to add the trailer for 2046 to the Trailers That Got Me Mo Jazzed Than Jazzercise list! Zhang, bang, thang you mang!

I had no websites up and going in 1999, had if I did, I woulda had ALL THREE spots for Eyes Wide Shut [one, two, three] on the Trailers That Got Me Mo Jazzed Than Jazzercise list of 1999, but the list woulda been called something else, and I didn't have a list or internets site cause I was scared of the Y2K bug, although it shoulda been a Y2K and 1 bug, cause 2001 was the actual start of the new willennium, not 2000 you stoopid idjiots who probably didn't think about things like that and were too busy trying to party like it was 1999, although 1998 was by far my mos flavorite year of balls time. I mean, Air dropped Moon Safari in late January of that year and change my French hating life for ever. Wee wee moinsir au bu pain in the neck!! And speaking of EWS and 1999 and not having a site of webs... had I had fore-sight and had a site-four then Stewart Thorndike probably would have been not only the 1st Her Royal Tryness, but also the first Non Us Hottie, which some claims with clams that it is a more bigger honor and gentle! Who is shes? She and some other girl in EWS were trying to bone Tom Cruise 'where the rainbow ends' (watch clip 2 to hear her speak!), but he's gay and a Dianetics couch stress tester so he couldn't be bothered. Well, he missles out cause Thorbest is more cuterified/shag munch a carpet riffic than Coyle, Portman, Knightley, Moss, and Mulligan turbo-combine D! Too badski she's been in nothing next to nothing and the google alert I set up in her good name 'ears ago has netted more zero than NETZERO!! Anyone know anythimg about Stewart Thorndike, who isn't a man, but may not even eggsist, besides being super hot? This is morest importanter than finding the whereabouts of Dole Fruit Pop, Dirty Ho, Fly Girl, and Deborah Foreman. Please contact us at 1-900-THI-GHS-Z and leave me your SSN, ISBN, and TURK182s. In the meantime, here's the singlest largest photo image pictures collection of Stewart Thorndike on the webs. (and don't even bother hovering yer cursor over each pic, I'm too sleepy to right slutty comments.)

First weekend without football in a wheel a while.
Best not to think about it.