Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, January 25

Quaker crOakmeal

Alright, first thing is f$%hing last [audio]

or I guess effin first!!!
Peace The
WTFork Out

CHRIS PENN

1962 - 2006

Who woulda thunk that an interview with the Brothers Nelson (Matthew & Gunnar) woulda been 7teen thymes more fascinating than watching It's All Right Now: Rick Nelson, a doc about their father Rick rockin out at a Louisiana county fair, which was co-directed by the Hackman? NOT ME for one! That's why seeing was bee-leaving lass noche at the s'wonderful Museum of TV & Radio Nelson love fest!! They're my new mos favorite children of a rockstar!!! Take that Chastity Bono!! And the Bros Nelson did papa proud by playing three of his songs, 'Travelin' Man', 'Hello Mary Lou', and 'Garden Party'!!! Alas, there was no love for '(Can't Live Without Your) Love And Affection' or pink spandex, but then again, that was probably a good thing

After ages of being treated like a black man, like Principal Blackman, the Strangers Avec Dulce flick will FRYNALLY be released in June [via AmyS.com]

Who the spork even knew that Steven Nederbergh was married to Jules Asner in the 1st place? Or that Wes Bentley was alive? Or that the WB and UPN were channels? Unless of course you're P-rican and already had 2 for the price of -1

Delicious DC dump hole Ben's Chili Bowl avoids the 2nd Ave Deli chop, and live(r)s [via Brawny Man]

Free passes to see Final Destination 3... put feel free to pass on it

Play Dark Tower onlines!! It was tHE single Gr8tits board game of balls time that was kinda like a video game, but not as les ghetto as those Nintendo Game & Watch thingies. I actually own a tower cause my friend Thighsbart owed me a lot of money and never had any to give, so we gots all guild like, like wees were living in Bartertown with MasterBlaster and Tina with those hair ear thingies!!

Howdy Doody's Do's and Don'ts [MF Temple of DOOM!]

Spaloo [via WoMannes]

And since I'm the Thigh Master, and since I love to eat fries, and since you love me to master thighs, and you love me eating since fries, hispecially Andy Capp's HOT FRIES, and der BeethovenFries, AND CORN, while not listening to Korn, I've decided to bend my cock like Beckham and kkick KK the HRT the V outta the kkastle!! DATS RIGHT Y'ALL! For NO reason tat all!! Not even for her non-eggsisting TATs!!! Or the fact she got a tat on her p'nanny that sez Thigh Master & Rory O'Shea weres here!! Or the fact that she dumps so sassily!!! Or that she is going to star in 3 pirate movies with Orlando Snooze that don't involve butt pirating, or the Pittsburgh Pirates, or Rollie Finger's stache, or a mustache ride from the Pringles guy, or an ode to Mindy Cohn!! BAGELS and Shmears!!! So give it up for no reason at all to the girl I juss spotted dick on MRP...

NADINE ELIZABETH
LOUISE COYLE

aka
Her Royal Thighness
The VI Warshawski

who?

of
Girls Aloud
huh?
I DON'T KNOW EITHER!!!
but like Skinner said
1nce Bitten, 4eva smitten
and since
Martine McClutcheonmycock
hasn't done ANYTHING
since Love Actually
I had to go with
Siress Arthur Love Her
Cans In My Doily Coyle!!

(no relation to Air Coryell)

I give her 2 weeks tops!! Or she'll have to lose her top, or box set collection of 1985's Topps' Traded Series. Not happy walters with this choice? Then photoshop my effin corn head already, in HISTORY!!!! (the submissions have been so fab that we're extending the contest another weak!!)