Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Thursday, June 2

Nestle Qwik Bitz

• Apparently the Gorillaz are completely wussing out on a real tour and have decided to go ahead with a virtual one instead. The jaunt, deemed The Demon Detour, will hit 39 U.S. radio stations. The NY 'date' is June 14 on K-Rock. This is so fargin lame that I bet George Lucas had a hand in it. No word if Jar Jar Stinks will be opening...

• The Fiddler was on to something last week when he was thighspotting Jack White's obsession with a red-headed girl in a bunch of their vids. Wellie wellie well, it turns out he not only beats off to them, but marries em too. Please welcome the new pasty Mrs Jack White the II: Karen Elson!! We can finally put to bed all those rumors about him marrying a carrot crotch.

• Sadly, we bid a mejor peachbasket the fork to the dude who looked like our Jewish grandfathers playing b-ball, George Mikan. In your honor, here's a pic of the 2nd greatest sorta-George named NBAer, Gheorghe Muresan, and no, not this Gheorghe Muresan!