Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, June 1

Love & Kisses To
All Your Pink Parts

• The above title is actually a 'memorable quote' from Kuffs, but this isn't a post about past Christian Slater eggsaladness and his being arrested by an overweight Guy Ritchie. This all about Russians, who are always in such a dang hurry to do stuff, like LOSE!! Oh Sharalovely, you were THIS close to becoming my thighscort for the 27th Annual Thighsies Award Show this year, but alas, I only like to surround myself with winners, like Bestlisha, who is a champion lawn dart darter and Donkey Congaer (not to be confused with a NSFW Darva Conger). But don't u dare fret my lil Kamchatka vodka hot-ca bubka baby, cause I gave Pammy Pam a 2nd chance, although she did lose to a child molester, and you have many a summer tournaments coming yer way where you can strut yer stuff and stick balls up yer skirt/win my heart back. And I could never be angry at someone who's making the world safe again for hot pink (with a lot of help from Trent)! I mean, I haven't been this pinked out in tennisness since I rocked those Andre Agassi Nike Air Tech Challenge IIeses, back in the '8-9. Right peoples? Or were u lucky enuff to own the less gay aqua editions?

• The Old Spice Rack Girls get 86ed from Live 8 cause their music was deemed more fluffier than fluffernutter, but Pink Floyd VOWS that they will play and that his eyebrows will grow back!

• And the Live 8 site,, went live 8 minutes ago. No word on whether Live will be playing any Live songs live or playing at all.

• Look, I know she's a low lag, but that's no reason to Princess Diana her!


Strawberry Fields Foreverclosure! And if you've never been to Liverpool, you owe to yerself to get yer a$$ there and go on their very Magical Mystery Tour. Thighs thighly recommends!

• For no apparent reason, The Breakfast Club will reunite for the MTV Movie Awards. And for no apparent reason, MTV will have a Movie Award ceremony.

WaPo's Deep Thrizz blog

• Richard Branson is starting to lose it. Next he'll start offering trips to YOURANUS!!

• Time after time, girls just wanna have brunch (and cheap rent)

• My mos flavorite gay Canadian band, The Hidden Cameras, is hittin up Mass, Philly, and NYC in mid-July. See you at the Bowery show that's a day b4 Siren.

• The Foo Fighters have an e-cardy thing for their new song 'Best of You'.

• My love and faith in Star Wars has been restored. More on this later, but in the meantime, download John Williams' brills 'Duel of Fates' from Episode I.

• Originality is declared dead as both Dlisted & The Superficial deliver the same joke days apart.

• Poop explores Bitchfork Media's hating of the 90s

• Justin questions Padme's new brand of wussyness

• What's bigger, the boobs or the stretch marks? [via UMC]

AMC theaters offer up plenty of free kids movies this summer.

• Lettuce play a game: Name That Tune playing behind Conan the Popcorn Maker. There is no prize, but I'm dying to know cause I could listen to it alls day shlong. UPDATE: mystery solved by Thighlander Jangle Cougar Sweets, the song is oddly enuff called 'Popcorn'. Download it here.

• Yankees fans, eat a dick, but bid on this rare and UMcredible Cliff Engle tee!

Dennis Rodman to Vie for Wife-Carrying World Championship Title

Kinda how I see it, but my version had hoop earrings

• Place you'll never EVER find me after sundown: The Ventriloquist Museum [via CityRagDoll]

• Planet Earth Is Genius, Reason #355687: The Ben & Jerry's Pint Lock! [via Randy Moss' old Double Home]

Redneck Neighbor [via My Man Marvkus]

• If Gawd put a smile upon your face, is Gawd Egotastic this morning?