Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, March 30

The SS Intern Ship

I wasn't yankin yer alice in chains folks when I tolds you that meself was gettin an intern for the Thighs. Times are tough and I really need someone to pick up my dry cleaning, scrub the hard to reach places like my grundle, and of course, make me even more power hungry (I plan to annex Russia within the next 2 months). So me scoured all 7 corners of the earth for the breastest possible trung candidate and when I couldn't find one, I asked my friend Pat O'Brien what qualities he looks for in a intern and he said, 'Make sure they're f#$king HOT!' At that point, he was dry humping my leg and that really wasn't helping me to accomplish my goal. So Pat decided to call a dear friend of his and tried to set up a threesome with Betsy and well, you know the rest.

Anywho, I found a kid rummaging thru my trashcan and giving my dog a handjob and decided right on the spot that he was the Golden Child. For those who care, his name is Hardcore Matty. But from this day forward, he will simply be called THIGHS WIDE SLAVE (and I'm his Master... get it?). This is his site, this is his Live Journal, this is His Space, I'd like to get into her space, this is not a Fugazi t-shirt, this is not a love song, this is not a good movie, and this is an animated gif of Thighs Wide Slave:

he reminds me a lot of meself when i sit in front of the computer

I gave him an easy 1st task

Take this

kubrick's peace the fork outting was the wurstest of allls time

And Thighzercise it

ha, it sez porn on the cob

The future's so bright Hardcore Matty
er, um, Thighs Wide Slave,
that we gotta watch Blade!