Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Sunday, January 2

Greetings & Salivations

Not to sound like the first single off of every Eminem CD, but guess who's back? Yep, me, your humble mumbler/man of spiel/the one they say 'objectifies women everyday... but you can't find the links he does', Michael Palan, er, um The Master of Thighs, The Thigh Master. Let me be the 20th, or 53rd, or 9,39933,56653,3,01th person to wish you a righteous New Year of your Lord, 2005. Btw, if you are one of those people who love actually believed that the new millennium began in 2000, instead of 2001, please bacdafucup off dis here site and get an edumacation. Anywhozitz, my sojourn with me familia to Jamaica was mos egg salad. I literally did nothing. Well, somethings, if the following things can be considered things...

Drinking at least 8 Piña Coladas a day

And no, I am not a Cubs fan

Inhaling Jerk Chicken & Pork

this could also be the name of my masturbation den of fun

ODing on Ginger Beer

first ale, then beer, what's next, stout?

Leprechaun Hunting

how lovely and gay

(just in case you didn't know,
this is what fire looks like)

is that a pina colada i see?

Watch Father Thigh Master
Get Hit On By This Chef

the face is covered to protect the innocent

Reading this umcredible Howard Hughes book
that was 70 zillion million billion thymes
more informative than The Aviator
whilst enjoying
the scenery
the greenery

almost paradise, we're knocking on heaven's door

All the other pictures were too graphic to be displayed. They include wicked matches of Boggle, more eating, tennis with my shirt off (hot, I know), laughing every time I heard a Jamaican say 'wagwan', re-watching the last 6 episodes of this year's Sopranos and peeping about 10 movies I'd never admit liking, but I'll admit that I like them, like She's All That and and 3 Ninjas. I also sadly heard that Ken Jennings will be reborn, Kate Booosworth and NOT Cuthbert will play Lois Lane, there are no such thing as Team Zissou Adidas shoes (but you can make your own), Double V is trying to pass off this chick as the ThighMaster (via Spence), and of course, the peace the fork outings of Lennie 'Disco' Briscoe and too many of our human brethren in South East Asia. Goes to show you that we're at Mother Nature's mercy and wees all should be thankful to be alive in '05. Think positive kiddies. Did I mention that I sorta wanna be Howard Hughes when I grow up?

[via OmniLeo]

Oops, forgot to mention my in-flight movies, which help prove my theory that 98% of all in-flight movies are more awfuller than sharing a toothbrush with someone: Shark Tale, which I refused to watch, and Mr 3000, which was more formulaic, than Formula 1 Racing.