Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Monday, September 27

Fantastic Fournacation

i'd love to feel her invisible touch
- The costumes have juss been unveiled for the new The Fantastic Four movie. I have serious reservations about how good it will actually be, especially since the most apt person to play The Thing czeched out on us in '98, but after taking this Alba pic to the bathroom for 18 1/2 minutes, this will tee-boviously be the most frantastic Fantastic Four movie Mt everest! Bi-the-weigh, why on earth did the producers choose one of Gawd's mostest gorgeous creatures play an INVISIBLE WOMAN!!! Wasn't their a need for Spread Eagle Girl? [via Navi/Pakulashaker]

- The mostest pointless news story rocking the world right now is that Her Royal Thighness will not reveal her political affiliation. And why should she? She's piecing together her run for the White House with Michael Dukakis in '08. Backdafuckup Hillary Clinton and Hilary Duff!!

- Did you catch Mike Wallace's interview with jack-ass at-large Bill O'Reilly on the season premiere of 60 Minutes? It was only 1/2 as umcredible as Andy Rooney's rant about his disgust for people who don't vote.

- Bob Dylan gets all Jewish and shit this past weak end. [via Glennmidiah and the Burrito Posse]

- Download the new U2 song here. You know what they say, if it aint baroque, then don't fix it. [via ProductFudgeShoppeNYC]

- I always thumb thru every single piece of spam I get, but usually I'm not interested in such offers to lower my mortgage, increase my penis size, or a large sum of money with my name on it waiting for me in Nigeria. However, this company caught my eye and I'm thinking of getting a large balloon of The Kid to hang outside of HQ in Thighland, Thailand.

now please bend yer elbows behind yer back
- Old firecrotch hotness, Julianne Moore, beats out lower-lip biting hotness, Katie Holmes at this paat week end's box office. By the way, is anyone out there jonesing for me to revive my Box Office Bidness thang? I've left it for dead ever since we went all dot org and stuff.

- How are we suppose to take the Moro Islamic Liberation Front seriously, if their acronym is MILF? [via Laing Sack of Shit]

- Larry David's TV wife joins the cast of Lohan Herbie: Fully Loaded.

- Matt Sharp & Rivers Cuomo's reunion may never see the light of day. And whatever you do, please don't rent the Michael J Fox/Joan Jett mastercheese, Light of Day.

-, a site more useless than TWS. However, they did link to these fine sites: Eric Conveys An Emotion and good ole Engrish. [via Seltzer with an H]

- Dame Mary Poppins will never sing again. Whoever that bastage is who botched her throat operation should be forced to watch Princess Diarrheas & Princess Diarrheas 2: Royal Engagement over and over again until his eyes fall out.

- T4. Quadruple BOOOO-urns!!! Like I care if Claire Danes saves us from my-so-called future.

hogan's zeros
- Is the world really yearning for an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie? I for one is clamoring for a big screen adventure from Dangermouse or Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling!

- Everyone contact Wagamama and demand that they bring one to the grand ole USA NOW!

- This is a whole lotta whistling.

- Mailboxes, etc. [via Zach de la Roachclip]

- And here's a charming headline to start yer week off right: Teacher Sends Feces Home With 6-Year-Old