Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, August 11

Rants and Rave Un2
The Joy Fantastic

and the crowd cried out for mora!
- unveils the Top 10 Most Embarrassing TV/Radio Interview Moments. Jim Mora's "Playoffs?" (click for audio) rant sadly came in at only numero 7!!! The injustice!! And what, no love for "Diddly Poo"? And "in my opinion, that sucks" The Mora's rants were so um-umcredible that they should have their own country to be ruled by. [1st link via Flea]

- Did you know that women's orgasms fill an average of just 1.4 hours in their lives, compared to men's at 9.3 hours? And that a man's o-face usually lasts for only 12.6 seconds? 12.6 f-in seconds? Hopefully stem-cell research will change all that.

- Ever wanted to charge something using a Lohan Visa card or send a letter with stamps featuring a picture of yer wife's poonanny? Well now you can! Czech out the One of a Card Visa and PhotoStamps!

- In celebration of Rolling Stone's 50 Years of Rock and Roll (does it matter that the mag hasn't rocked and/or rolled for the past 10 years?), there will be a berry special two day concert, Sept 17 & 18, at Roseland, including the likes of: James Brown, The Strokes, Bo Diddley, Slash, Lenny Kravitz, Cheap Trick, The (faux) Doors, Velvet Revolver, Ben Folds, Wyclef, and The Darkness. No tickets will be sold, but you can try to win em here.

- The NFL is getting all ninny on us for the upcoming season's kickoff game's entertainment. Instead of Ron Jeremy, Marilyn Manson, and Hitler eating a watermelon, they've lined-up such 'safe' acts as Elton John, Destiny's Child, Mary J. Blige and Lenny Kravitz. Will they be shocked when they find out that Lenny Kravitz doesn't wear undies and Elton is gay? Damn you Janet Jackson and yer ultra scary boob.

- A 1,072 pound man lost 321 of them el-bees. To him, it must have felt like taking a dump and having two humans come out. And speaking of eating, here's Hannibal Lecter's dream wedding. [vias Flea a-gain]

- What soundtrack features The Streets, Franz Archdukes, The Sounds, Air, Morrissey, New Order, INXS and many mo? No, not Zach Braff's next joint, but EA Sportses' FIFA 2005 game. It's a gooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!!

- The next victim of Q magazine's cash for questions is none other than David Brent. Send yer queries here.

- Where does your city rank on literacy? Not good news if yer a Texan/President of the US.

- Win a trip to the MTV VMAs in Miami. I'd rather be in an Iraqi prison, nekkid and on top of a man pyramid. And for you NYSeers, click for free passes to Diego Luna's latest.

Welcome to our version of QVC (me mum's favorite TV channel).

i'll RACK up many a charges with this baby!
Lohan Visa, don't leave home w/out it

- Spend some cash on Johnny Cash's stuff. [via Zach de la Roachclip]

- The Cat In The Hat goes all Yiddish and sheet. Mazel Tov and raisin toast!

- And if yer looking to rest in peace during tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, terrorist attacks, stalkings, kidnappings, and drive-bys, then the Quantum Sleeper is just for you! I'm gonna get mine blinged out with a CD & DVD player, Microwave, Refrigerator, a spoiler, and glowing neon lights on the bottom.