Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, July 23

Hives Wide Open

The Hives
+ Sahara Hotnights

Irving Plaza - July 22nd

america breaks out in hives for the... hives

Before I begin, I must state for the LP that me can't stand it when a band releases their latest album the same week they begin their tour. How am I to fully enjoy their show if I'm not too familiar with all the tracks yet? Drop the album and then give us at least a few weeks to get our booties shaking and our appetites whet.

Is Sweden the innest country or what? Their red fish and meatballs are scumdeliumptious, and their English-language music output is unrelievable. ABBA were the Beatles of the 70s and the Hives are the Kinks of the Double-0 Zeroes. These guy kick so much gla$$! Last time I saw them was with the Mooney Suzuki in June of 2002 and they played for only 45 minutes. 45 minutes doesn't sound like an awful long time, but when yer the Hives, yer songs are 2 seconds each and you can pack so much in that span of time. It was one of the best 45 minutes I had eggspeareanced since peeping the training portion of Full Metal Jacket. Anything beyond that time mark is just overkill ("me sucky sucky" not included).

Last noche, they played for a little over an hour, drawing from albums past and heavily on their latest, Tyrannosaurus Hives. The old stuff ("Main Offender", "Hate To Say I Told You So", "Supply and Demand", etc) was more killer than the Son of Sam and the new stuff faired pretty darn well too... would have been better if I had more time to listenage to the album. The main draw to their performances aren't the music, but rather the extreme-o energy that they exude. (These guys must take forkloads of IVs loaded with Red Bull, Frosted Flakes, speed, and Jolt Cola before their shows.) And they do all of this rocking and/or rolling in their fab-u-los Kentucky Colonel getups.

Here's a qwik rundown on this Swedetastic band. Brilliant work Randy Fitzsimmons!!

Howlin Pelle Almqvist - He must think he's Prince cause he's constantly seeking audience approval and telling us that he loves us and that we love him. If he cut down on the chit-shat, the show would probably be 18 minutes long. Anywho, he has dreamy eyes and hair to die for. I think I'd go heteroflexible for him... if Jude Law was busy of course.

Nicholaus Arson - Looks like Mr Bean, but plays the guitar like a crackfiend with 10 cents in his pockets.

Chris Dangerous - His drumming arms must ache more after one show than Nolan Ryan's pitching arm did after his entire career.

Vigilante Carlstroem - I feel so bad for him cause he was sweating as soon as he came out on stage.

Dr. Matt Destruction - Best mustache in all of rock?

Pee es - the Hotnights were solid like a corn poopie, cept I was a lil peeved they were half da way thru playing "On Top Of Your World" as me and the cru were walking in.