Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, June 18


The When: Thighsday Nite

The Where: El City, Webster Hall, home to many bridge and tunnel folk

The What: Franz Ferdinand knocking the balls to the wall!

the Austro-Hungarian Franz F would be proud
Yep, I'm afraid to admit it, but Franz Ferdie is the real deal, unlike Buster Douglas' Knockout Boxing on Sega Genesis. They is mos def the greatest thing to be exported from Scotland since Trainspotting. Peace out Strokes, cause yo days are numbered. Hope you didn't spend the money that your daddy saved up for you.

Long story short: me missed the boat on FF tickets so me was forced into the world of Craig's List and eBay price gouging. Me was too busy at work to deal with this crap so me girl Megbot stepped up to the plate like she was Cecil "F-in" Fielder and scored some reasonably price gouged tickets. Too bad she must have eaten turkey burgers, cause el Megbot got food poisoning and couldn't even go to the show!! (insert unhappy face) Enter the Thinker. His a$$ is about to be exported to the land mass known as Europe and what a killer way to send em off, eh? Ich heisse Su-per-fan-tas-tisch!

people flip for FF!
Yesterdaze just so happened to be the very beginning of monsoon season in El City and I didn't wear me rubbers or carry me trusty umbrella. So I got completely drenched on my way to pick up the tickey-ick-ets. To make (family) matters worse, when el Thinker and myself arrived at the venue, we realized that this wasn't yer daddy's Franz Fizzlnand concert. The place was packed to the gills with hipsters of all shapes and sizes. Most of them fell under these stereotypes listed on this handy Hipster Bingo board. We had to elbow our way to the bar where we set up shop for the next hour... I mean, FF only has one album of material, so wees weren't eggspected a 3-hour Phish crap-a-thon. Now I can deal with $7+ beers, but I guess me needs some tips from Mandy Moore if I want to learn how to deal without A/C. El Paso, Tejas needs to be stripped of its newly bestowed title, Swamp-Ass Capital of the US, cause without A/C, my grundle area won that title in about 4 seconds. But hey, this is FF and if they can make all the jaded hipsters dance, then I'm going to shake my a$$ too, like I was in that "Rump Shaker" video by Wreckx-n-Effects.

the breast album of 2004, franz down!
The highlights of their energetic, pitch-perfect, hour long set included: the "Hava Neglia" guitar riff in "The Dark of the Matinee", playing my FFFT (favorite Franz Ferdinand tune) "Tell Her Tonight", me coming and dancing to their heteroflexible ditty, "Michael" (Editor's note: 'Michael' is such an awful first name, right?), and of course, amassing more swamp a$$ per minute than I did during Coachella Part I, II, or III! Long live frozen chocolate covered bananas!!!