Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, May 7

Trailer Park Life

Before I can review the LL rock-a-thon known as Mean Girls, I have to tell you all about the spate of horrid movie previews my eyes peeped. Along with Brad Pitt's un-credible Troy accent and Spidey 2's shady FX, It's going to be a long f-in summer.

- Box office queen, LL need not worry about 2nd-rate tweenster Hillary Muf. Why? Cause it looks like Lizzie Whorebag takes all the scripts Ms. Lohan turns down. Peepage the trailer to A Cinderella Story. What the fudge is that crap all about? And since Hillllary Muffff is such a LL wannabe, they even recruited Chad Michael Murray who was LL's love interest in Freaky Friday. So f-in Beck. But bee leavea you me, if LL was in this, I'd be camping out for it right now.

- Sleepover: I don't know who the target audience for this shitpic is, but I'll assume it's blind people or complete morons like Claus, who knows only what he reads in the New York Post.

- Guy Pearce probably had short-term memory when he signed on to a movie about two baby tigers who grow up to be big tigers, called something like Simmba and Dikembe Mutmbo: Two Brothers. This is a perfect movie to take kids to or if you want to get real laid.

- Finally, I couldn't find the extended new version of the The Stepford Wives the trailer, but do not seek it out! It ruins the whole f-in the movie. And who was the mastermind that thought casting Bette Midler was a good idea? Just rent the original, OK?

Btw, when are we going to see a Mischa Barton movie? I want to have a Boston Tea Bagging party near the region of her head.

Please to Mischa, Hope you guess my name!