Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Saturday, May 8

A Night That Will Live
In Infamous

Thursday night was so fetch. One amazing movie and one bliz-zazing concert. If only every night of my path-ethic life could be like this. OK, throw in some HJs & BJs, maybe a lil bowling, and then yer talking! My eyes hadn't peeped so much beauty since last weekend's trek to Coatcheka, Cali. My pants were around my ankles for most of the night (in preparation for No Pants Day), cause I was watching two of the most gorge-yus liz-adies do their thang. Imagine watching Lindsay Lohan ROCK out on the big screen for a good hour and thirty-seven minutes and then meself riz-ocking out to the hot bod and sweet sounds of Sharin Foo and the Raveonettes, all in one magical evening. I priz-ohm-is, a full review of Mean Girls (...and Coachella Part III) will be posted haste, but I think I need to start 15 new blogs just to have enuff space to write my treatise on LL's latest opus. In the meantime, here's the deli-yo on the Raisinets show:

The Raveonettes
Thursday, May 6th - Bowery Ballroom

If Buddy were alive
today, he'd tell the
'nettes to "Rave On".
If you've never seen a show at the Bowery Ballroom, you really haven't lived. It's gots to be one of these finest venues in the country. Not only is it tiny and you can get really close to Meg White's splendidilicious boobies, but there's tons of bubbalicious hipster chicks who rock out with their... rocks out. I've seen all sorts of shiite there: Blur, The Hives, and even Huey Lewis & The News (which was 1/2 umcredible and 6/7 snoozefest). Anywho, the Raveonettes raved on this night, like Buddy Holly being swallowed up by BlackDildoMotorcycleClub's roaring g-tars. In today's overproduced music scene, it's refreshing when a band can reproduce their signature sound live. This is the case here. It's an open and shut case. Anyone know where I can find Justin Case? Case closed.

Who conned the Fonz
into directing this?
Sorta like the Black Keys, the Raveonettes aren't eggzactly original, but they sure beat crap on a stick like not so thin Lizzie Mark McAguirre. The 'nettes only have an album and 1/2 worth of material, but they gave it their all throughout the hour-long set... unlike Cop And A Half, which was thirty-seven minutes longer. They kicked through continents and ripped through all the hits: "That Great Live Sound", "Attack of the Ghost Riders", "Do You Believe Her ", and my personal rave, "Little Animal". A lot of the songs sure sound the same, but who cares? If you get to hear the same 3-minute gem over and over, that still constitutes a rockin' good time. Check the Rock n' Roll Handbook... it's in there.

You can spell
"food" w/out Foo.
And I'm pleased to announce that I am finally in love with someone over the age of 18. Who? Sharin Foo. No, she's not part of the Foo Tang Clan/Foo Fighters, or owner of Ruby Foo's, or even Stephen a foosball champion, but just one super-crazy-dope-fly Danish girl. I wish she was an apple strudel danish so I could lick her sweet sugary outisde and taste her gooey insides. Sorry you had to read that, but she's so f-in smoking. I was so hot after Mean Girls that I had to take cold shower, and after Foo-Schniker melted my heart and raised my flag, I had to have an ice bath like Tim Robbins in Jacob's Ladder. Catch them if they come to yo city. It's worth it. And be sure to bring a change of underwear.