Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Saturday, April 24

Van Hel of Thee
I Don't Sing

Two nights, two sneak previews for the TWS staff. Thursday night: Napoleon Dynamite. F-in mint. See that shiz come June peoples. Friday night: Van Helsing, more like Van Helsucks. Even more run-of-the-mill than HellBoo. How do you say "crap on a stick" in Transylvanian? Once again, this movie was like watching all of the below images rolled into one movie... but awful (with help from Ross K Doji):

Konami's finest

Saying "I don't know" on
You Can't Do That On Television


Faramir as a bumbling friar

The stained glass windows that came
to life in Young Sherlock Holmes


The whore-rific special effects
of Clash of the Titans


Ghost in sky sequence

The acting: Hamming it Up

Moulin Rouge's evil mustached man

A slimy-ass Alien pod

Peter Boyle as Frankenberry

The masked orgy

The obligatory scene where the hero gets
gadgets from the Q-like character


The worst movie ever:
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Do not see this movie.
It's a waste of eyesight and sitting.

Although her accent was afwulreffic,
I'll still let her be my wife

I wanna set sail with Kate Beckinsale