Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, April 16

Qwikie Nibbles
From Rob Dibble
To Double Dribble

Pacey's breath smells
like teen spirit.
- The WB is developing a TV movie about Kurt Cobain's life. No word on who's going to play Kurt or Slutney, but I think Pacey and Joey from Dawson's Creek would be fine choices as the star-crossed lovers.

- Robber calls KFC claiming to be police. Robber tells KFC that they will be robbed by a robber and to let the robber rob. Then the robber shows up and robs KFC. KFC lets him walk away with $200 and some crappy cole slaw. KFC confused. BTW, KFC's fried chicken is more tasteless than a book of jokes by Blanche Knott.

- A Florida tween hires a cop to kill his mom. He tells the cop to make it look like a burglary, but to not harm the TV. Who needs parents when you have TV? Dude, who's going to pay the cable bill, you?

China, always on
the cutting edge
- Drive-ins have become the latest craze in China. I bet next year they'll start using rotary phones and 8-track machines.

- A fab cast has been lined up for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. How fab? Mo fab than Fabio. How does John Malkovich, Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, It-gal Zooey Deschanel, Wicket/Willow/Leprechaun, The Office's Tim, and that crazy old rocker dude from Love Actually sound? Pretty f-in good. Since Star Wars III is gonna be a stinker, I finally have something to look forward to in 2005.

- MTV's Video Music Awards is Miami bound this year. What's next, a hockey team in Tampa?

"You're Fired!"
- Looks like NBC is gonna place the new Matt LeBlanc's spinoff series Joey in Friends' old time slot. But what are they going to do when the show is cancelled after two weeks? NBC, get a clue. Your programming blows one-legged zebras. You have no sports, yer reality shows are 8th-rate, and I haven't watched one of yer lousy made-for-TV movies since the Jackee-Alyssa Milano-Tina Yothers-Dick Butkus poop-a-thon known as Crash Course.

- Finally, what happens to old crappy buildings in New England? They get photographed and placed on this kewl website.

Switched at Birth?