Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Thursday, May 8

Cocoonskin Cap


5 Cats that Look Like Wilford Brimley [DFB]

the greatestestist love song of balls thyme: 'Smell Yo Dick' [YouTube w/saucy lyrics]

Jon Schultz' semi-creative way of getting Good Thief cutie pie Nutsa Kukhianidze to contact him: NutsaKukhianidze.com

get burned by Gemma's rays [NSFW]
this guy certainly has

Nadine Hurley's silent drape runners finally a reality

one shirt is tasty, the other, tasteless



Jarvis Cocker & Beth Ditto - 'Temptation (Live)' [YouTube]

Playboy Ads From Around the World

Diet Coke With Bacon

Dog to Unicorn Transformation Kit [b3ta]

this guy's looking for someone to JO in his model train room, although haters of imitation crab meat need not apply

&


Dale loves posing with Hooters gals
& setting back Scottish culture by 10,000 years

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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Wednesday, May 7

Flight Night
of A Thousand Laffs

Flight of the Conchords
Town Hall
May 6th

[pics from Tower Theater show, not Town Hall]

What's a joke that never gets old? One that's told in the form of a song and rocked out by Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement (who does sorta look like a more talented Andy Samberg), the duo better know as the greatestist four letter abbreviation to hail from New Zealand since LOTR: FOTC. The real joke is on you if you still haven't gotsen yer feet wet with either their hit HBO show or their fraztastic new self-titled album. There really isn't anything mo superflyfresh than these two currently rocking the planet (well, besides Bree Olson NSFWed in a maid costume). The two have just begun their brief and beyond sold-out tour of the US, and we caught their first of two shows at Town Hall last night. Todd Barry warmed up the crowd with his self-loathing/loving brand of comedy, and much to everyone's displeasure, no bongo solo for 'Doggy Bounce'

Even if B&J mumbled for 90 minutes, the crowd would still eat it up, especially the ladies. Cause the ladies love funny guys and musicians, and FOTC are both. They probably have an easier time getting laid than an Amsterdam prostitute. Luckily, they decided to play their songs and instead of mumbling, adding their dry Kiwi witty banter in betwixt. Even though we knew every line of every song, it still was beerlarious to hear them live. The giant smiling grin on our faces never ceased from song one to the last one. Even when the audience began shouting out song requests (which has got to be the most annoying thing about concertgoers of our generation), the two played it as cool as a coolcumber. A call for 'Freebird' was obliged by Jermaine as he peformed a bit of it two different times. Later, someone asked for 'Hungry Like A Wolf' and J-Dawg went right into 'Freebird' again. It got a laugh each time, and why would it not?

Here's a complete list of the songs from the concert (sadly no 'Bowie' or our flav, 'Prince of Parties'), in alphabetical order, since our memory is fuzzy as a Georgia peach:

'A Kiss Is Not A Contract'
'Albi the Racist Dragon'
'Angels' (listen)
'Bret You Got It Goin On'
'Bus Driver's Song' (listen)
'Business Time'
'Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous'
'If You're Into It'
'I'm Not Crying'
'Inner City Pressure'
'Jenny'
'Ladies of the World'
'Mutha'uckas'
'Robots'
'The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)'
'Think About It'

+ 2 new songs

an instant classic one about old girlfriends (watch)
& one called 'Freakiocity' that needs a little work (watch)

if they're coming to your town
pony up and buy some scalped tickets
or scalp the head of someone with tickets if need be
if not, we're sure the thighnamic duo will tour again
so don't fret or take off your Brett Farve jersey

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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Tuesday, May 6

Thighbeca Film Festival '008

Welcome to our fourth year of Thighbeca Film Festival coverage (recaps from 2007, 2006 and 2005, sorta). Ideally, we'd see a lot more than we did, but if that happened, we'd probably would be blind. Same could be said about masturbating too much, but that's an over-activity worth going blind for

Breast In Fest


Man On Wire [trailer not available]

Philippe Petit's name may not ring a bell, but his high wire antics probably will. In 1974 he did the impossible: (illegally) walk between the World Trade Center's twin towers. How he planned and executed it is the focus of this deeply fascinating doc. It's hard to mention the towers anymore without thinking of 9/11, so it was an absolute pleasure to watch this doc that reminded us when they symbolized a thing of beauty and not horror

release date: August 15th in limited release



Mister Lonely [trailer]

You already know we loves it [TWS review], so the only question is, when are you going to see it? If Diego Luna's career ever goes down el baño, he totally could earn some extra cash rocking those MJ moves

release date: already playing in limited release



Old Man Bebo [trailer]

Bebo Valdés was one of the kings of Cuban music (and apparently fathering children). That is until Castro and the revolution came in and, because of his neutral stance, pushed him from his homeland. Living in European oblivion, and being reduced to playing pianos at hotels and private parties, Bebo seemed destined to be a footnote in the annals of music. That is until his career was revived in the 90s, thankfully by those who never forgot him. The doc itself is pretty basic, but Bebo's story is so darn engaging that it elevates the whole thing to muss see (if it's ever released)

release date: unknown



Somers Town [trailer not available so peep this slideshow]

When we last left crossed paths with director Shane Meadows, he had juss rocked our socks and coccyx off with his jarring This Is England [TWS GLOWING review], and introduced us to the bright young talent that is Thomas 'Tommo' Turgoose. Well, the two have reunited on his quiet (read: not much plot), yet effective, follow-up that follows Tommo as a runaway looking for a new life on the streets of London. He finds friendship in another lonely soul, a Polish kid (Piotr Jagiello, another great discovery by Meadows), and the two get into their fair share or mis and mradventure. Think of it is a not so cheesy Son of Rambow

release date: unknown


Jeepers Worth A Releasers


A President to Remember: In the Company of John F. Kennedy [trailer not available]

Robert Drew and his assocaites have long been pioneers in the field of political documentaries. They got their start as flies on the wall following JFK on the 1960 presidential campaign trail with the film Primary, and went on to follow his every move when he occupied the White House with 4 more docs on the most charismatic president to date. Well RD and assocs have taken the best bits of those works and created this new one that captures all the major events he faced (although no mistresses here, juss the hotness that was Jackie), with Alec Baldwin's smooth voice leading the way. This may be better suited for PBS than a theater, but regardless of where you see it, the mission of remembering JFK will certainly be accomplished

release date: unknown



The Universe of Keith Haring [trailer]

80s Pop Artist Keith Haring deserves a better reflection on his life and times than this. Since none are in the works that we know of, we guess we'll stick with this adequate one that seems to focus more on passing time than reflecting on the times. Little introspection is made from the interviewees (and Madonna is noticeably absent... so is Warhol, but he's dead), and it's a crying shame, but Haring's such a great subject that this doc is still worth czeching out

release date: fourth quarter of 2008


Sum Merit But
No Stinkin Festival Badges


A Portrait of Diego: The Revolutionary Gaze [trailer]

Diego Rivera was larger than life, and probably quite often, larger than his pants. This doc doesn't really chronicle that life. It's more about some half-a-century old silent color film of Diego at work, which was dug up from some Mexican attic, and what his grandson, and the offspring of two of the people involved in said film think about it. The title is thus very misleading and probably woulda been better if it was called Three Famous Peoples' Kin and How They Have Nothing Better To Do Than To Talk About Diego Rivera Around A Table And Talk About How Their Famous Forefathers Are More Talented Than They Are

release date: unknown



Redbelt [trailer]

On second thought's it isn't as bad as we originally said it was [TWS review], but that stoopid fight at the end has still left the wurstest taste in our mouth since we licked crepe paper

release date: already playing in limited release




Doesn't Even Belong
In A Poop Festical


War, Inc. [trailer]

This movie is so beyond awful that we had no regrets leaving the theater for 30 minutes to watch the Kentucky Derby at a nearby bar. When we returned, we didn't miss a thing. It was almos more enjoyable to watch Eight Belles get euthanized than sit through this hunk of Cusack junk (with Hillary Duff along for the ride). War, Inc? More like War, STINKS!

release date: May 23 in limited release


until next year's fest, the balcony is clothed

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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Grand Theft Extras

for those of us w/o a heX-Box or a PeeS3 (aka the only Blu-Ray players sold in America), you can watch Ricky Gervais' stand-up bit about fatty boom-booms (that we heard when we saw him last year) found in Grand Theft Auto IV's Split Sides Comedy Club b-lo




[GamesRadar]

wonder if any Seona Dancing tunes play on the Electro-Choc radio station

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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Monday, May 5

Logo Dog Go!

we juss mumbled upon the greatestistest wiki site mt EVERest:
Closing Logo Group Wiki
and cause we have nothing better to do
besides seeing movies and seeking out NSFW honeys with gynormus cans
we've ranked our mos flavorite 20 logos + others we've deemed james worthy

1) WGBH (1978 to Present)
Where To Find It: anything on PBS that's (probably) good or British or both

[play]

2) Warner Bros. Pictures (1972-1984)
Where To Find It: A Clockwork Orange

[play]

3) HBO Feature/Special Presentation (1983-1999)
Where To Find It: in our (wet) dreams

[play|behind the scenes]

4) 20th Century Fox Film Corporation (1935-1994)
Where To Find It: no better place than the OG versions of Star Wars, Eps IV-VI

[play]

5) Classic Warner Bros. Cartoons (1942-1964)
Where To Find It: anywhere it's duck or rabbit season

[play]

6) Hanna-Barbera (1979-1990)
Where To Find It: Shirt Tales

[play]

7) Walt Disney Home Video/Entertainment (1978-1986) & (1981-1987)
Where To Find It: any VHS (or BetaMax) tape that came in a huge white case

[play|play]

8) PBS (1971-1984)
Where To Find It: Electric Company

[play]

9) Stephen J. Cannell Productions/Cannell Entertainment (1982-1999)
Where To Find It: The A-Team

[play]

10) Ubu Productions (1982 - present)
Where To Find It: Family Ties

[play]

11) Amblin Entertainment (1982 - present)
Where To Find It: Amazing Stories

[play]

12) ITC Entertainment Group (1973-1989)
Where To Find It: The Muppet Show

[play]

13) DiC Audiovisuel/Entertainment (1987-2005)
Where To Find It: Inspector Gadget

[play|ytmnd]

14) Thames (1969-1989)
Where To Find It: Danger Mouse

[play]

15) NBC (any one that's in color)
Where To Find It: uh, NBC?

[play|play]

16) MGM Cartoons (1963-1967)
Where To Find It: Chuck Jones-produced Tom & Jerrys

[play]

17) MTM Enterprises, Inc./Productions (1970-1998)
Where To Find It: The White Shadow

[play]

18) Paramount Television (1969-1975)
Where To Find It: The Brady Brunch

[play]

19) Mark VII Productions/Limited (1953-1971)
Where To Find It: Dragnet

[play]

20) Universal Pictures (1963-1990)
Where To Find It: Back To The Future

[play]

honor blackman able mentions:

ABC (1962-1970's)
Castle Rock Entertainment (1989-1994)
CBS Productions (1966-??)
Children's Television Workshop (1978-1983)
Classic Paramount Cartoons (all)
Columbia Pictures (1975-1981)
Desilu/Lucille Ball Productions (1966-1967)
DreamWorks SKG (1997 - present)
Emotion (1999-2007)
Focus Features (2002 - present)
Gaumont (all)
Gracie Films (1987 - present)
Imagine Entertainment (1995 - present)
Krofft Productions/Entertainment (1969-1976)
The Ladd Company (1980-1996)
Lionsgate (2005 - present)
London Weekend Television (1971-1978)
Lucasfilm Limited (1997 - present)
Marvel Productions Ltd (1985-1993)
Miramax (1999 - present)
MTV (80s)
Orion Pictures (1981-1996)
Operation Prime Time (1976-1987)
Picturehouse (2005 - present)
Picturemaker Productions (1985-1989)
Pixar (1995 - present)
Rainbow Releasing Productions (1995 - present)
Rankin-Bass Productions (1968-1975)
Ruby-Spears (1981-1992)
RKO Pictures (1929-1958)
Steven Bochco Productions (1989 - present)
Television New Zealand (1980-1982)
TriStar Pictures (1984-1993)
United Artists Pictures (1981-1987)
WCET (Late 1980's?-????)

and the scariest one of balls thyme:

Lynch/Frost Productions (1990-1992)

which logos razzle your bedazzlers?
pray tell
and praying mantis!!

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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