2 Vast, 2 Laborious

8 Fast 8 Furious (The Fate of the Furious)
The DEFLATE of the Furious
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 136 min

Welcome to 8 Fast 8 Furious!

(previously – #4 / #5 / #6 / #7)

And so long my unquestioned love of the Furious films!

Wait, what????

Yep, the Fate of The Furious may have sealed it’s fate by reaching a point of no return.  It may NEVER be able to return to the days of pure dumb fun, and may just keeping going (of course it will keep going), minus the fun – aka, pure DUMB

HOW IS IT SO??!?!??!?!

I dunno, but when did our beloved hot-head car racers turn into SEAL Team Six meets G.I. Joe????????????????


is this picture from 8 Furious or G.I. Joe? is there even a difference??

Why do they have to stop Bond villains from stealing bombs, on ice???


is this picture form 8 Fast or that awful Bond flick Die Another Die?

When did it become the Fast crew’s job to do things above their pay grade, and above what they really need to be doing – which is juss drive cars, fast, and impress fast hot chicks!  

And when did the bad guys all become fairytale cyberterrorists???

WTF Fast and Furious?  

And where did the humor go?  Sure, Tyrese has some good lines (one in particular, when trying to read Cyrillic Russian), and Jason Statham makes cute baby talk, but whoever is writing the one-liners should be given a one-way ticket to be buried alive.  What, was the guy who wrote the Running Man screenplay buried alive and not available?

Is this what happens with Paul Walker’s character walks away??  You have to go bigger and worse???  Or you have to have more scenes of talking, and less scenes of driving???  I mean the remote controlled car scene was INSANE, but, what is going on here?  Maximum Overdrive IN OVERDRIVE????

I mean, I feel that the road we’re headed on – 9 Fast 9 Furious will find our beloved crew saving the Earth from aliens!!!!  

and of course I’ll be there to witness it.  juss please make it fcuking good.  PLEASE!! and dump the stuff that doesn’t belong that is making Fast seriously slow

Verdictgo: the lowest that Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges goes

I am furious at Furious, currently at a theater near jews AND white nationalists

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Deer White People

Get Out
The Step-Stepford Wives
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 104 min

I finally got out and saw Get Out.  It’s true!  And it was good!  Way to make a real movie Jordan Peele!  I thought all you were gonna do was be in a bunch of Keanus (which isn’t a bad thing, juss more of the same kinda thing), and yer directorial debut movie had some Keanu-ish stuff with comic relief from Lil Rel Howery, but some seriously good serious stuff too!

It was scary! And creepy!  Even Catherine Keener was supes creepers jeepers, and so was Caleb Landry Jones and Stephen Root! And Bradley Whitford was douchey as always!!  And Allison Williams, who is not much of an actress, totally did that things she does – being a white chick!!  And Posh Kenneth from Skins (Daniel Kaluuya) is in something other than Skins (that I know of)!  [aside – man, Skins was the fcuking best!]

Half way thru the movie, I knew exactly where it was all going, but I still enjoyed the rest of the ride

Then when I left the theater, I was like, man, I REALLY need to see 1975’s Stepford Wives again.  And so I did (and you can too here), and was like, MAN, Get Out is a modern, but loving and topical, rip-off of The Stepford Wives!  I have a feeling that most people who saw AND loved Get Out have never encountered the Ira Levin novel or 1975 movie version.  You/them peoples should get out (or stay in) and go see that…

…and see Katharine Ross in a see-thru nightie!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Get Out is still in theaters, and digital/disc things next month

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Marion Crane Operator

not sure they hand out Emmy awards for such a category, but…

Rihanna as Marion Crane on Bates Motel should win mos Outstanding Lead Wet Breasteses in a Drama Series mt EVERbreast!

btw – the show is SOOOO dang fine.  they took something sacred, made it sorta their own, but honored the original material thru and thru

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